There are so many things which I think are of so much of a significance when others think it is a total waste of time. Like painting my nails. I guess its an important thing coz I think only nail paint can make my hands look beautiful. As far as my beauty goes I am always very particular you know. I apply all the make up in the world every day!!..(this is one of the reason y I come late to college every day!!) well, the truth is that I have always felt that im not beautiful.. I have my reasons to believe so…I have a dark complexion. Since my childhood I have a fantasy for fair skin. A woman with a fair skin looks good even without make up on. Everything suits her complexion. People admire her more and morever she feels good about herself u know..but with me things have been different..ive always wanted fair skin…I like big eyes and that’s the reason I think I have small ones. And I have a fat nose…it not as fat as it is sounding actually!! But u kno I like a sharp nose and thin lips but mine are broad. Even my cheeks are so plump..and my hair….oh I like long thick hair but mine are thin and short and bad..!!so basically I think I need make up to make myself look the way I like to look. Even though from childhood I have heard ‘you kno black is beauty’…n …’my baby is looking so beautiful’…but all these beautiful words always reflect back from my ears. I don’t believe in everyone’s words. I listen to evry one who says im beautiful and charming but believe in none..(this reminds me of a beautician who told me ‘you are so beautiful…why do u tie your hair’ tat day for a brief moment I felt on top of the world….only a brief moment….it all came to an end the moment I saw other girls at the food court)...you see every one wants to make me feel happy and loved...but wat I fail to explain each one is that I don’t feel miserable for the way im nor do I have complex with those who are beautiful ….i just wish I looked better than I do..it means a lot to me!!...i sometimes wonder how I turn out to be like this when all my family members are so beautiful..both my sisters look beautiful and mom’s like a doll, then wat has gone wrong with me?
When all these thoughts come to my mind I suddenly come to think of how trivial my grievances are….i always think of the society and its problems. I think I am a contradiction within myself. When I can think of my own beauty so intensely how will I ever be able to imagine the woman’s agony whose face has been an acid attacked?