When you kill a person you kill a dream or maybe dreams of all those you are connected to him. isnt it a blasphemous thing to do? Asked samavartha sir in class….now the thought struck me and I did some thinking. Like it happens in evry other class of his. He says something which is food for thought and I think about it always.
I read a couple of weeks back about transsexuality, about hw gunjal turned to gazal. I found the idea a revolution in the field of science. I even liked the piece, the basic reason being I thought it was great information. The reasons are at least ‘the week’ didn’t do into deep medical aspects which would be beyond my comprehension nor did they make it melodramatic by adding too much of human touch(this reminds me of the series of articles I read about manjunath, the computer engineer who got paralysed working in the US and how they took care of him for five years and now he is back to India and how TOI is collecting funds for him…)u know sometimes newspapers don’t realize how they make someone’s agony look fake by making it sooo melodramatic…and what I couldn’t believe was that manjunath covered page 1, page 2, page 3 and also page 5 in just an issue!!…trust me ive never seen so many articles of the same story in a newspaper…..the truth is that I have been an avid fan of newspapers since I was a child. Earlier we didn’t get English newspaper at home wen I was small. Then as I grew up I started reading English newspapers. A point came when I read papers only to improve my vocabulary and now finally I read them for information. I also like to criticize the way other high profiled reporters have written in big papers coz I think they don’t remember the basics and maybe I could write the same piece in a much better way……’I could write in a much better way’ is an important statement to me you know…the reasons are clear. I have grown up to believe im better than others. Even when I didn’t do very well in school ppl said I was very bright, even when I debated like a coward they said I was great and even when my writing sucked they said I am one of the best. Now when an individual grows up like this he believes that he is superior to others, and well, likes to ignore the fact that he sucks even when he can see others are brilliant and he has no choice but to accept it…but I still don’t regret the fact that I grew like that. when I joined college it all came as a blow on my face. I realized there is a world that exists beyond mine. People are more intelligent, more artistic and much much better than I can be…it took me a long time to recover my injuries caused due to the truth I was facing..even now sometimes I doubt myself, let me say only very occasionally, coz a long time has passed. I have realized, felt miserable and disgusted with myself, overcome the trauma and now regained my confidence. I don’t care how better others are than me coz that the natural feeling of being superior is still somewhere within me. I think I can manage my emotions pretty well. I am a little more tolerant than many can be. And since my EQ is higher than the normal beings, I feel like a champion. (atleast I think it is!!)
Now returning back to what I was saying I liked the story of gunjal to gazal unlike many of my friends who thot the piece was nothing great. For me reading a magazine has also become a fantasy. Im trying to watch movies these days. Just to improve my knowledge about things. Now I kno that’s a the crappiest reason to watch a film but ya its like that with me.